It's NEDA Week 2020, and this year's theme is "Come as you are: hindsight 20/20."
Looking back on my journey of recovery I realize that it was never about the food. It was never about my body.
My pain and suffering stemmed from my reluctance to look inwards, recognize what beliefs I held that weren't serving me, and be willing to put in the hard work to change that. To challenge the belief that I had to earn my worthiness, love, and acceptance. It was never about the food.
The hardest part about recovery is having to make the active choice to put in the hard work - every second of everyday. To fight against my mind, and actively choose to see my fears through and disprove them. To feel isolated and alone in my journey, but to continue sitting through discomfort and know that this process will be worth it. To view, live life by, and measure my self worth by my own metrics in a world that tries to define it all for you. Looking back, I would tell myself that it is worth it. The panic attacks, the crippling anxiety, andthe overwhelming depression, they are all part of my journey and make me who I am today. I am grateful for growth, for support, for love, and for ..... Honestly, bread. #NEDAW2020#NationalEatingDisorderAwarenessWeek2020