Looking Back on Us
It's weird looking back at old photos of my sisters and myself for many reasons. The first, and most obvious reason being, we all have grown up so incredibly much. Our hair looks different, it's not as long, it's not as curly, it's not as dark. But for me, the most incredible thing about looking back on old photos of us is recognizing how much we each have grown. I am so incredibly proud to be your sister Jessica and Katie, and I am so proud of how much you have grown.
You've always been my role model. Not only in terms of style, but also room decorations, aesthetics, hobbies, editing styles, etc. You know it too. I have always wanted to be you, hell, when I was a toddler I didn't even crawl because I wanted to imitate your walking. It's crazy to look back on these photos of you, because in the same way I feel about myself when looking at these old pictures, I don't recognize you. In these old pictures, I see an insecure and scared girl. I see a young girl who has no idea what she wants to do, who she is, or what she loves. I see a girl who hasn't found herself. I'm by no means saying that you've fully found yourself now, but when I look at you now, I'm inspired by your boldness to honor your authentic self. You have grown so much, and even if you can't see it, you're like a caterpillar turned into a butterfly. You were always camera shy, yet you loved taking photos of others. You couldn't see your beauty, and you hated it when other people tried to capture it. You are so incredibly beautiful Jessica, and I'm constantly in awe of how stunning and striking you are. You don't have your bright green glasses anymore, braces and wires and bands restricting your smile, or long hair to hide your face. That has all changed, and I can see your confidence in yourself growing. You continue to inspire me every. single. day. and I am constantly bragging about all that you do, and how accomplished you are. Jess - you were a mother figure in my life during a time in which I needed it most. You took me under your wing and took care of me, nurtured me, and held me, telling me that everything was going to be alright. I can never thank you enough for being the woman you were then, and am so inspired by the woman you've become. Never stop being true to yourself dear sister, you are so beautiful inside and out and I am so proud to see you grow everyday.
It's funny because whenever I look at old photos of us, I think of our bickering. I think of our constant fighting, shouting, and screaming. I think of how much we disliked each other. But with Kena came our sisterly peace, and I have never loved you more since. In the same way that I am inspired by Jessie's strength to show off her authentically beautiful self, I can see you stepping into the woman you have always been everyday. You are still learning about who you are, what you want to do in the world, and where you want to do it. You are passionate. You are loving. You are sensitive. Yes when we were growing up, your sensitivity bugged me and it caused many of our fights. But I see the beauty in your sensitivity, and how it has allowed you to cultivate a genuine and authentic compassion for so many causes and people. You cry for animals when they die inhumanely. Your heart breaks when you see pollution being spread in the world. You care. You care so authentically and passionately, and that has inspired me to find my truth as well. You are here to change lives. I can see it already. Your drive and sense of purpose pushes you to step out of your comfort zone everyday, and like Jessica, I brag about you everyday. Your fight to be in a better place mentally is a testament to your drive and courage. Not many people are brave enough to recognize that they are in pain, let alone have the strength to work through it. The work you did was hard, and I'm so proud to have been fighting by your side. You were, and never will be, alone in your pain and struggles. I'm right there with you dearest sister, and when you cry, my heart breaks. I don't like thinking about you growing up, because you will always be my innocent baby sister. I want to protect your sensitivity, and shield you from experiencing pain. But I know that in order for you to grow, you will encounter more pain, but you will work through it and grow from it. Never stop fighting to make your voice be heard. You're changing lives out here Katie, and I am so incredibly proud of the woman you've become.
If it's not clear already, my love for my sisters is deep and overflowing. You both have shaped the person I am today in extremely different ways, and I would not be the woman I am today without either of you. Keep fighting your battles dear sisters, and keep changing lives.
I know you inspire me to do that everyday.