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  • Writer's pictureelenaa

Learning to Let Go

Updated: May 13, 2020

It’s crazy how much the culture we are constantly exposed to influences not only our beliefs about the world, but also our beliefs about ourselves. Until I am in a different environment, I am oblivious to the ways in which I’ve internalized cultural values to be self abusive and self deprecating.

The diet industry highlights all of our insecurities in order to encourage sales and gain revenue. The constant bombardment of both subtle and blatant messages telling us we need to lose weight, that equate happiness with thinness, and define one’s self worth on one’s body inevitably influences the relationship we are able to cultivate with ourselves and with our bodies. How much more difficult is it to love your body if you have all these messages telling you that you have no right to - or at least not until you’ve done x, y, or z.

We tie hope, happiness, and worth to weight loss. We believe that if we just lose x number of pounds, we will able to be truly happy and truly free. All of our problems will disappear. If we just wait for that one day where we are satisfied with what we see in the mirror or on the scale, we can then chase our dreams and feel fulfilled with our lives. We equate friendship, love, and connection to our bodies. If we look a certain way, we will find a significant other. If we look better than we do right now, only then will we be able to feel satisfied in our relationships.

I spent years of my life hating my body, abusing it constantly, in the hopes of finally being able to love my body. Regardless of how much I abused my body on a daily basis, that day of self love only fell farther and farther out of reach. No matter what I did, or how far I went, it was never enough. I was never enough. I always had a new goal, a new aspiration or hope that I tied to more weight loss - more self abuse.

I had to give up that dream and let go of those ties. I had to see for myself that my methods weren’t working for me. I had to recognize how much life I was sacrificing for a goal that was unattainable and unreachable. Some people go years without coming to a place where they are ready to let go of that


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