As I was doing yoga the other day, the instructor said something that really resonated with me. As I was touching my toes, the instructor said "this pose is like gratitude - your heart is above your head." I'm might be cheesy, but the phrase really stuck with me
During this time of uncertainty, I've found myself panicking and trying to find control - especially with my weight and body. It's beeneasy for me to judge myself or compare how I'm spending my time in quarantine to others. Am I working out enough? Am I eating the right foods? How do I make my bad body image and insecurity go away?
To me, putting my heart above my head means not allowing my negative thoughts control my day. It means starting everyday with gratitude and mindfulness (mainly through a short yoga video), recognizing what my needs are (journaling), and choosing to put my mental and physical health first. For a while, it meant deleting social media off my phone to not allow myself to compare myself to others and fuel any negative self-talk. It meant calling, FaceTiming, and texting friends to feel connected.
This time could have ended differently for me. I could have fallen back into old unhealthy patterns and let my attempts to control my shape and size cost me my peace of mind and happiness. But I know what that path looks like, and I know that it never brings me lasting joy, confidence, or fulfillment. So once again, I'm choosing the uncertain and scary path of letting go.
I'm separating my self-worth from my body image, reconnecting to my sense of purpose, and prioritizing self-compassion instead of self-loathing. I remind myself that everyone's bodies and needs are different, and that comparison doesn't serve me. I'm finding little things to be grateful for, learning more about myself everyday, and fighting through any discomfort, because I know that all this hard work is worth it.