Our thoughts matter.
Our thoughts are fueled by and nurture our beliefs - beliefs about ourselves, our friends, families, and even our understanding of the ways in which the world works. What we believe about ourselves and the world around us is extremely important, because it not only shapes the nature of our interactions with others, but also our daily experiences. Our thoughts replay constantly in our mind, and we have the ability to guide the direction in which they flow.
For the most part, the hundreds of thousands of thoughts we have each day are negative. They are deeply ingrained and limiting beliefs about our self worth, our relationships, and our experiences. They only heighten our already existing insecurities about who we are, what we are worth, and what we need to do to find fulfillment. These beliefs affect the ways we interact with others around us, and to become curious about these thoughts and narratives you tell repeatedly yourself is an extremely valuable practice.
I think about the two types of thoughts in my head as independent speaker systems. Right now, my speaker blasting thoughts that belittle my hard work, minimize my worth, or conjure up any negative thoughts is loud and blaring. My speaker playing positive affirmations and my truths is still making noise, but it is nothing in comparison to the blaring negativity. I believe that my life's work is to constantly turn up the sound of my truths and turn down the volume of the negative beliefs.
Beliefs are just that - beliefs. They are not the truth. So while these beliefs that replay in my mind constantly tell me that I'm worthless, ugly, fat, unlovable, and selfish, they are not entirely true.
I am learning how to let go. Let go of these negative beliefs about myself and my self worth, and to hold on to my unconditional self love. I'm learning how to let go of conditional statements, like "I am worthy WHEN _______" or "I deserve love IF ________." These statements will never feel fulfilled, and I will only be filled with negativity and self loathing. Yes I can live my entire life hating myself and all that I do, and constantly fight myself to try and be truly happy. Or, I can let go of the conditionality of my beliefs, and know that whatever I believe is only available to me when and if I do something else, that it is all possible now.
The more you focus your attention inwards, the more clearly you can identify and recognize how your deeply ingrained beliefs fuel your thoughts. Reflecting on this allows you to explore their roots, whether they are true, and whether they are serving you right now or not. Practicing this valuable life skill opens your mind up to an entirely new realm of possibilities and rationality, and you begin to understand that you have the agency to shift your thoughts, and not be helplessly reactive to them.
So get unstuck. Stop believing the negative stories you tell yourself, and instead, challenge them. Be firm in your truth, and you can decide to not be reduced by your limiting beliefs. In repeating our negative beliefs in our minds, we continue to focus on them, and give them the very power they need to dominate our lives and wellbeing. In order to grapple with the reality of change and freedom from this predictable cycle of self-abuse, we have to become aware of the ways in which our thought processes work, and how we are inclined to react to them.
What negative beliefs are you still holding onto today? Why are you still holding onto those belief? These beliefs could be that you are unlovable, unworthy as you are, or that you aren't capable for success. What needs are you fulfilling by holding onto those beliefs? Are you willing to recognize and make room for what else could be true in your interpretation of your beliefs? In order to change, you need to challenge your beliefs and let them go. Recognize that they're not serving you, and truly and wholeheartedly let them go.
If no one told you already today, you have everything you ever need inside of you already. You are already enough, and no conditional statement will bring you the authentic and overwhelming love that you can give to yourself in this moment.